Secrets
by GendryaCaesar
Summary: On a night close to Christmas at Grimmauld Place, Harry overhears Remus and Sirius's conversation in the living room. He finds out that Remus has a mate but he doesn't know who it is. As Remus and Harry begin to grow closer Harry begins to fall in love with Remus but what will happen when he finds out that Remus's darkest secret is his greatest desire? HPRL slash.
1. Chapter 1

"I can't do this, Padfoot. This will only hurt both of us."

It was almost Christmas which meant it was freezing, and everyone at number twelve had already gone to bed-or almost everyone, since Harry had wandered down to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and when he had been making his way up the staircase again he heard voices coming from the living room. Harry stopped at the closed doorway and put his ear to the door, listening carefully and quietly sipping his water.

"He trusts you Moony, and you two need to start spending more time with each other," Sirius was saying. "If you're in love with him then you're in love with him, and there's nothing you or the wolf can do about it."

So Remus was in love with someone. And a guy. Harry wondered who the lucky guy could be.

_No I did not just think that. _

"Sirius-" Remus protested, and he began hissing words so quiet that Harry couldn't hear. "-and that is why I could never tell him," Remus finished, his voice having returned to normal by the end of the sentence.

"Those aren't very good reasons," Sirius declared.

"Ugh!" Remus complained, his voice raising. "Would you like me to spend time with him, and then in the end I'll only hurt him and send him on his way after reminding him I'm a _fucking werewolf_? Huh? Is that what you'd like me to do?" Harry was shocked, Remus never cursed even when he lost his temper.

"No, and you won't just send him on his way," Sirius pointed out. "You're a great friend Remus-to him, to everybody. To me."

Jealousy filled Harry before he could stop himself, and Harry scolded himself for being so irrational. Sirius had said _everyone_, not just Sirius himself.

"Why don't you just sleep on it Remus?" Sirius said. "Dumbledore only told you today that he's your mate, and we can decide what to do about this in the morning."

"There's no changing it Sirius-" Remus began.

"I didn't say anything about changing it Remus," Sirius said quickly.

Remus sighed. "I'm sorry for raising my voice. I'm just so worried about what the consequences of this situation could be. I love him Sirius, I don't want him to get hurt."

"I know you would never hurt him Remus," Sirius said, and there was a pause and when Harry heard footsteps he ducked behind a stand with a vase of flowers on it in the hall. The door opened and Remus and Sirius came out of the living room, and Harry put his hand over his mouth so they wouldn't hear his loud breathing. Remus didn't seem to notice Harry even though his werewolf senses could have easily found him, but the moment Remus turned the corner upstairs and Sirius went into the kitchen Harry accidentally hit the stand with his elbow and knocked it over, the vase clattered to the floor with a loud CRASH.

Harry winced and prayed Sirius somehow wouldn't have heard, but he appeared in the hallway to see Harry crouched down on the floor. "Listening through closed doors are we?" Sirius said as he helped Harry up and waved his wand to get rid of the mess on the floor. "Listen Harry, don't worry about Remus, he's fine-"

"It didn't seem like he's fine," Harry protested. "Don't lie to me Sirius, with all that's going on right now in my life I really don't want to be lied to. Is there anything at all I can do to help him?"

Sirius hesitated before saying, "Be his friend. That's all I'm saying." They went up the stairs together and stopped at Harry and Ron's bedroom, and they could hear Ron snoring all the way from outside the closed door. They said goodnight and then separated with a hug before disappearing into their bedrooms.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning found Harry standing outside Remus's bedroom door, his fist resting on the door ready to knock quietly. Harry didn't know exactly what to say to Remus when he was to open the door, and this is what he was currently pondering over. He knocked, and when Remus opened the door in only a pair of boxers Harry didn't know exactly what to say.

"Harry?" Remus said, uncertain as to why Harry was standing outside his door.

"Um good morning Remus," Harry stammered, his face bright red. "Um…do you want to do something with me today?"

"Like?" Remus wondered, yawning.

"Maybe, er, take a walk in the garden or something?" Harry offered.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "You do realize it's six in the morning, right?"

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"So, Harry. How come you all of a sudden decided to wake me up at the crack of dawn to go on a walk in the garden?" Remus asked an hour later when they were indeed in the garden, and it was snowing lightly. Both had on heavy jackets and gloves and Harry thought it was still a bit cold.

"I just…well I just wanted to get closer to you," Harry admitted, blushing, and Remus smiled as he wrapped an arm around Harry's shoulders. Warmth spread through Harry and he shivered, praying Remus didn't notice. They were silent for a moment before Harry said, "You're the best DADA teacher I've ever had, Remus. The professor I had first year had Voldemort on the back of his head and the one I had second year was Lockhart, enough said." Remus chuckled lightly at that and Harry went on, "I didn't want you to leave."

Remus stopped walking then which made Harry curious until he pulled Harry into a hug. "Thank you Harry," he murmured into Harry's hair. "That means more to me than you can imagine."

Harry smiled against Remus's chest and he hugged Remus back. "It's nothing." Remus released Harry and didn't reply but he smiled slightly as they continued their walk. They walked in silence for a while before Harry said, "I care about you Remus. A lot."

"I care about you too Harry," Remus said, "I want you to know that."

Harry smiled. "I know."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

For the next few days Harry and Remus were inseparable. They did everything together now, Sirius looked pleased that Harry and Remus were close and Harry's friends teased him about how close they were. "They're like salt and pepper," Ron suggested with a grin in Remus and Harry's direction. Harry was currently trying to teach Remus how to play chess, but was unsuccessful.

"Shampoo and conditioner," Hermione added.

"Ron and Hermione," Fred and George supplied, and Ron and Hermione proceeded to chase the twins around the house.

Harry only laughed and made one last moved that allowed him to beat Remus. "Ha!" he said victoriously. "Beat ya."

"For the twenty fourth time," Remus specified. "I suck at this."

"You'll get better," Harry promised. "It took me a while but I did eventually get better. You wouldn't believe how many loads of times Ron beat me before I finally beat him, and only by a few points."

Remus snorted and cleared the board of chess pieces. "What do you want to do now?" "Want to watch a movie?" Harry offered. "We could make hot chocolate."

Remus grinned, he loved hot chocolate. "Sure." Remus boiled water on the stove while Harry put a random movie in the DVD player. After the hot chocolate was done Remus came in with two mugs of the substance and handed one to Harry, and after drinking half of it Harry set it down on the table beside the couch and snuggled against Remus, his eyes on the screen. Remus smiled and wrapped an arm around Harry's waist, pulling him close against him, and he rested his cheek on top of Harry's head as his eyes followed Harry's gaze towards the TV screen.


	3. Chapter 3

A couple hours later, when it was completely dark outside and snow was falling quite heavily, Remus turned the TV off and set the remote down on the bedside table, and he wrapped his free hand around Harry. Remus realized Harry was smiling in his sleep, which made Remus smile and that familiar warm feeling filled him. Harry nuzzled closer to Remus's chest and wrapped his arms around Remus, a dreamy sigh escaping his lips.

"Remus."

Remus, who was taken aback by Harry moaning Remus's name in his sleep, failed to notice Sirius standing in the open doorway behind the couch, smiling at the two. He left the two alone then and Harry's eyes fluttered open, and he lifted his head and looked around before his head fell back onto Remus's chest.

"Harry, love, it's late, you need to get some sleep." Remus then realized what he had said and prayed Harry didn't notice, even though the boy was half asleep and he probably hadn't.

"Carry me," Harry mumbled, holding his arms out, and Remus chuckled quietly and picked Harry up in his arms, and did indeed carry him upstairs to Harry and Ron's bedroom. However, after Remus gently lay Harry down on his bed and covered him with the blankets, when he turned to leave Harry grabbed Remus's hand and said, "Stay."

Remus was touched that Harry wanted him to stay, and he smiled before climbing in beside Harry, pulling his mate into his arms. "Love you Remus."

Stunned, Remus pressed a kiss to Harry's forehead and said, "I love you too Harry."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Harry opened his eyes to blinding sunlight streaming through the windows, which probably reflected off the snow outside and was even more blinding, and he groaned and closed his eyes again.

"Professor Lupin?" Harry, confused, sat up and noticed that Remus was in bed beside him, fast asleep. His heart lifted and he smiled before looking over at Ron, who was just as confused. "Harry, how come Professor Lupin's in your bed?"

"I dunno," Harry admitted. "One minute we were watching a movie and the next thing I know I'm here, and it's morning…"

"Bloody hell," Ron commented, "he's in your _bed_." A grin slowly crept onto Ron's face and Harry went very red. Of course he didn't know that Remus was awake, and he had opened an eye and was now listening to their conversation. "You like Professor Lupin don't you?"

"What?" Harry allowed himself a nervous laugh. "What makes you think I _like_ Remus? That is just the most ludicrous-oh Merlin-" Giggles filled the room and Remus, who was beyond shocked that Harry liked him, was smiling too. Remus quickly closed his eyes as he felt Harry get up, and Harry went into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Harry," Remus said later, "we need to talk."

Ron, who had been playing chess with Harry, only gave him a small smile and got up, leaving Remus and Harry alone in the kitchen. "What about?" Harry asked.

"Well um, last night during the movie I think, you fell asleep on the couch," Remus began, and he sat down and moved one of Ron's white chess pieces, grinning smugly. "I win."

"Damn it," Harry complained, and Remus cleared the board and began to separate the white pieces from the black. "Wait so I fell asleep on the couch? But then how did I get upstairs?"

"I carried you," Remus informed, his heart pounding, "because you asked me."

"But I was asleep-" Harry began, and then realization hit him. "Do I…_talk_…in my _sleep_?"

Remus nodded and Harry winced.

"Please, _please_ tell me I didn't say anything else," said Harry desperately.

"You said my name," Remus went on, and Harry groaned and buried his face in his arms, too mortified to look at Remus. "And after we got upstairs, you asked me to stay."

"That's it?" Harry asked hopefully.

Remus swallowed. "You said you loved me," he mumbled, not daring to hope. Harry, however, was so embarrassed he wanted to sink through the floor.

"I do love you Remus," Harry confessed after a long silence, and emerald eyes finally met amber ones. His voice was clear and firm but gentle. "I love you." Harry got up to hug Remus and he felt himself being hugged back.

"I love you so much Harry," Remus sighed, tears of pure happiness filling his eyes. Remus sniffled and held Harry close, and it was definitely an emotional moment for both of them except only one thought was running through Harry at that moment.

_Merlin, what's happening to me?_


	4. Chapter 4

Hours later Harry woke to hear Remus softly snoring beside him on the couch. They had played a few games of chess and had taken a nap on the couch, and Harry had woken up before Remus. He didn't know how long he had slept but he was wide awake and couldn't go back to sleep, so instead he snuggled back against Remus, who let out another snore and Harry jumped.

Harry smiled as he looked back at his memories of the past few days with Remus, and that now familiar warm feeling ran though him, and it ached but it felt good at the same time. What _was _that? He had felt the same thing for Ginny, but that feeling had vanished.

And then it hit him, he was in love with Remus.

_I can't be in love with my ex professor_, thought Harry miserably. _I don't want to be. He would forever hate me if he found out and I don't want to lose what we just found. _But all the signs were there, the warmth, the happiness he felt around Remus. And he did think about Remus all the time. But he knew at that moment that Remus would never want him, that he would never love him like that.

Harry glanced over at Remus and for the first time really noticed how gorgeous the man was. His hair was just turning gray but you could only tell if you really looked, and the rest of it was light brown. Remus's lips looked soft and Harry found himself wondering what his former professor's lips would feel like against his own, and just the thought of kissing Remus made him both excited and nervous.

_No, I can't think like that. He's like three times older than me, and we're both guys. Besides he was my teacher._

_Was, exactly, _a small voice in Harry's head pointed out, and it sounded suspiciously like Ron. _You want him._

_I want him so badly, _Harry realized, and tears stung his eyes. He ran his finger lightly over Remus's bottom lip and the sleeping werewolf stirred. Harry yanked his hand back and pretended he was asleep.

"Harry, I know you're awake," Remus said, laughter in his voice. He ran his hand through Harry's hair and Harry shivered in pleasure. "I also know something's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me," Harry said quickly. "I'm fine Remus."

Remus raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry about it," said Harry, and he hugged Remus. "I love you Remus."

Remus smiled and he wrapped his arms around Harry. "I love you too Harry."

There was a knock on the front door then and Harry immediately jumped up after saying, "I've got it," and he opened the door to find one shivering Minerva McGonagall, looking quite pale and eyes wide.

"Professor McGonagall?" said Harry in surprise. By that time Ron and Hermione had joined him at the door.

"Minerva?" Remus got up and also joined them, and he invited Professor McGonagall in and she stepped in, wrapping her cloak tighter around her.

"D-D-D-Death Eaters," she stammered. "There's been an attack at Hogwarts."

Remus's eyes widened too and he wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulders. "Harry, you stay here with Ron and Hermione and everyone else, I'm going to Hogwarts with Minerva."

"No," Harry protested. He was Harry bloody Potter, he wanted to go with Remus and fight. "I'm coming with you."

"It's too dangerous Harry," Remus said. "I am not going to lose you. I'm not worth it."

"You're worth everything to me Remus, everything," Harry choked, and he gave Remus the most determined look he could.

_He has amber eyes, I've never noticed before_, Harry thought. _Beautiful_.

Remus sighed. "All right," he said. "You're just as stubborn as your mother. Come with me but you must remain at my side the whole time. Understand?"

Harry nodded and clutched Remus's arm, and he caught Ron and Hermione smiling at him before they gathered around the fireplace to Floo to Hogwarts.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

They Flooed to the Gryffindor common room, and Remus grabbed Harry's hand as they darted down endless corridors before finally reaching the Great Hall. Staff, students, and Death-Eaters were battling everywhere, and Remus squeezed Harry's hand and pulled him close. Suddenly Harry felt a searing pain in his scar, and he gasped out in pain.

"Harry? Harry, are you okay?" Remus demanded, already in complete panic mode.

"My scar," Harry groaned and Remus rubbed his back comfortingly. That was when the first Killing Curse was sent at them, and Remus and Harry both ducked.

"This way Harry," Remus shouted, and with his arm around Harry they made their way to the prefects' bathroom, familiar and unfamiliar hexes being thrown at them the whole time. They finally found safety in the prefects bathroom and Remus and Harry wandered cautiously around the room, wands at the ready, prepared to fight.

"Harry, if anything happens I want you to get out of here, don't worry about me," Remus hissed, and he turned sharply when he heard a noise but it turned out that it was water dripping into the sink from the faucet.

"I won't leave you," Harry insisted.

"Yes you-" Remus began, but they both froze when they heard the voice.

"_Harry Potter_."


	5. Chapter 5

Remus and Harry turned to each other, confused, and Harry was sure they were thinking the same thing. The Dark Lord was in that very room, but where?

Harry heard Voldemort laugh. "Ah, young, foolish, love-crazed Potter." At this Remus turned to Harry and gave him an inquiring look. "As of tonight the world as you know it will be over, and you will all die. Oh right, then you won't get to tell your werewolf how you really feel about him-"

"_IMPEDIMENTA_!" shouted Harry, and Voldemort staggered back. Harry turned his head quickly to catch Remus's shocked expression and Harry didn't have time to send another curse at Voldemort before a blast of green light was sent at Remus's chest.

"_Crucio!_" yelled Voldemort, and Harry yelped in horror and collapsed by Remus's side.

"No, Remus," Harry choked, tears beginning to slide down his cheeks. Remus was staring up at him, his eyes full of pure love. "It's okay Remus, you're going to be okay…"

Remus only smiled up at him and brushed hair out of his eyes. "I'm never going to make it Harry," he murmured, but Harry wouldn't accept that.

"You will make it Remus, everything will be fine," Harry managed, and Remus wiped Harry's tears from his eyes. "I will never let you die. I love you so much Remus-"

"NO!" Voldemort screamed, and Harry quickly turned to see a blast of red light coming out of Voldemort's wand, and Harry pointed his wand at Remus and green light spurted out of his own wand. "NO! POTTER-" Voldemort seemed to…explode into ashes, Harry couldn't really describe it.

"Dementors in the castle-RUN!" Harry heard next, and he turned his attention back to Remus to find his eyes closed.

"Remus?" Harry whispered. No answer. Harry began sobbing, Remus was dead because of him, loads of people were, but Remus…Harry couldn't stand it-

"Harry!" Hermione. Harry looked up just in time to come face to face with a Dementor, and with the strength that remained in him he said the two words clearly, letting the memory of his first meeting with Remus make him warm.

"_Expecto Patronum_," Harry said, and the last thing he saw was Ron and Hermione's very surprised expressions before the blackness came.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Before you read the next chapter I should have made it clearer but Remus is not dead, Harry only thinks he is. Anyway enjoy the next chapter(:**

Harry's eyes opened and when he looked around he realized he was in the hospital wing, and there was a slight pinching on his hand. Alarmed, Harry looked down and saw there was a needle going into one of his veins. He grimaced, he didn't like needles. He had lifted his other hand to remove it when he felt his hand being held in another and a voice softly saying, "No you don't." Harry looked up in surprise to see Remus sitting in a chair his bed. "Remus," he said, relieved, and they embraced. "I thought you were dead…"

"I'm fine Harry, but there are some things we need to talk about," Remus admitted, and Harry grimaced again. He had an idea about what one of them was and he found himself dreading the conversation. Damn Voldemort. Damn him to the lowest depth of hell.

"Like what?" Harry asked.

"First about what Voldemort said," Remus went on, as if reading Harry's mind, and Harry groaned. "About you telling me how you really feel about me."

Harry swallowed and tears filled his eyes. "Remus please don't hate me," Harry begged, and Remus sat down on the bed beside Harry and pulled the boy into his arms.

"I could never hate you," Remus said.

Harry couldn't even look at Remus. "I've fallen in love with you," he choked, and Remus didn't say anything, he just let Harry continue. "I'm sorry, Remus, I never wanted you to know. But Voldemort-that slimy sneering bastard-"

"Harry," Remus interrupted him, and Harry gathered the courage it took to look up at the man. He smiled. "I already knew."

Harry gaped. "How long?"

Remus smiled. "About two hours," he said, stroking Harry's hair. "Your Patronus was a werewolf Harry."

Harry only had a fraction of a second to be shocked before Remus was kissing him, and he whimpered and let himself get lost in the kiss. Remus's growl vibrated against Harry's chest when Harry licked Remus's lower lip. Remus opened his mouth and sucked on Harry's tongue, and Harry's moan echoed through the hospital wing as Harry positioned himself between Remus's legs.

After a long time Remus slowly broke their kiss and Harry's head fell against the werewolf's chest. "Remus," Harry panted, breathless from their first kiss and the movement of Remus's hand moving up and down on his back soothing him. "So…I'm your mate? The guy I heard you talking about with Sirius that one night was me?"

Whoops. Harry clapped a hand over his mouth but Remus only chuckled and ran a hand through Harry's jet black hair. "It's okay love," was all Remus said, and if he was angry he didn't show it. "But yes Harry, you are my mate."

Harry smiled and entwined their fingers together. "Harry!" two different voices said then, and Ron and Hermione each took turns hugging Harry. "Harry, we were so worried," Hermione said. "Are you all right?"

"Never better," Harry assured her, grinning, and Remus was smiling too.

Ron was the first to notice they were holding hands. "You and…and Professor Lupin…I…_finally_!"

Harry laughed and Remus said, "Both of you are allowed to call me Remus you know, I'm not your teacher anymore."

Ron grinned. "Brilliant."

"I'm so happy for both of you," Hermione said, and she hugged Harry again. They chatted with Ron and Hermione for a while, and Madame Pomfrey soon ushered them out so she could check on Harry. Remus stayed at Harry's side as she took the needle out of Harry's hand and poked him, then when she was satisfied and Harry was sure to be bruised she finally released him.

"Ready to go home love?" Remus asked, his arm around Harry's waist.

Harry nodded. "I want to tell everyone about us," he decided, "but only if you want to."

"I think that's a good idea," Remus agreed as Hermione disappeared with a blast of green light. He and Harry stepped into the fireplace and Remus pulled his love against him. "We won't have to worry about Sirius obviously but I'm kind of dreading telling Molly."

Harry smiled and kissed Remus, then reached into the bowl and grabbed a handful of Floo powder. "I am too but we'll get through it together." With that, they Flooed back to Grimmauld Place.


	7. Chapter 7

Telling the Weasleys-apart from Ron since he already knew-hadn't been as hard as Harry thought. Mrs. Weasley had taken it really well but Ginny had stormed off to her room after saying Harry and Remus's relationship was a joke and Ron told Harry that she had quite the crush on him. Harry planned to talk to her the next day. Everyone else had been delighted, Mr. Weasley didn't seem too pleased at first but after Remus assured him that he loved Harry and would never hurt him Mr. Weasley appeared to be okay with it. Harry had always thought of Mr. Weasley as a father and Mrs. Weasley as a mother, and he was glad that they supported them.

"Deep in thought, are we?" said Remus as he climbed under the blankets beside Harry in his bedroom. Harry had waited until Ron's first loud snore before sneaking out, he knew if Ron found out he was spending the night in Remus's bed that he would never hear the end of it.

"Just thinking about how great it is that everyone accepts us," answered Harry honestly, "and that we don't have to hide our relationship."

Remus smiled and brushed his lips against Harry's. "It's almost Christmas," he observed before kissing Harry again.

"Our first Christmas as a couple," Harry realized. He went in for another kiss and he allowed the kiss to linger. Remus nibbled Harry's lower lip and Harry moaned before opening his mouth, letting Remus explore his mouth. Their tongues collided and Remus's tongue was just moving to the back of Harry's throat when they heard laughter coming from outside the door.

"Hey Harry-" Fred called.

"-everyone's already gone to bed," finished George.

"Oh really?" said Remus, and he grinned mischievously at his love. "Then how come you two aren't in bed?"

That left Fred and George spluttering. "Er, we were just heading to our room and we heard moaning."

"Knew instantly what it was," Fred declared, and Harry blushed.

"Good night," Harry called, and there was a sound of quick footsteps down the hall and the sound of a door closing soon followed. Remus had just turned his attention back to Harry before Harry had launched himself onto the werewolf, pinning him to the pillows and kissing him breathless.

"Harry, wait, we need to talk before we do anything beyond kissing." Remus gently pushed Harry off of him and Harry sat with his legs crossed on the bed in front of his boyfriend. "Are you absolutely sure you want this? That you want me? I'm a werewolf Harry-"

"I don't care," Harry said. He crawled into Remus's lap and hugged him tightly. "I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. I want you inside me Remus, I want you to push as far into me as you can until I come inside you and-"

"Harry!" Remus exclaimed, his face a brilliant red.

"I want to be yours," Harry continued, and Remus's eyes glittered with love and he smiled.

"I love you so much Harry," Remus said, and he pulled Harry into a heated kiss. They kissed hungrily and Harry was gasping into Remus's mouth. He wrapped his legs around Remus's waist and crushed their lips together, and Remus moaned so loud that the whole of Grimmauld Place most likely heard. Remus's belt fell to the floor and Harry pulled the zipper down on Remus's jeans before putting his hand in his lover's underwear. He began to gently stroke Remus, and the older man yelped. Remus quickly came all over Harry's hand and Harry wiped the liquid off on the sheets, making a mental note to wash them tomorrow. "I need you inside of me now Harry," Remus pleaded. "Please, Harry."

"Undress me," Harry ordered, and he was naked before he knew it and was pushing deep inside Remus. Remus was screaming, Harry was moaning, and Remus gripped the headboard and dug his nails into it which made a loud squeaking sound and Harry bit back a giggle.

"I love you," Harry murmured against Remus's lips, and he pushed even farther into Remus so that every part of them was touching. They were both completely naked and their legs were tangled together, and they were laying in each other's arms, not kissing, not doing anything but laying in silence with Harry's head on Remus's chest, the pain long gone but Harry still inside Remus. They fell asleep like that, snuggled together deep under the blankets, and when Sirius cracked the door open in the morning and saw them asleep against each other, the blanket still covering them, he smiled and closed the door (but not before putting up a Silencing Charm).


	8. Chapter 8

When Harry woke up the next morning Remus was still asleep. Harry's head was on Remus's bare chest and Remus's arm was around him, and he snuggled closer to Remus, careful not to wake the sleeping werewolf. The warm feeling filled Harry as he thought of the previous night and he closed his eyes, deep in thought. He could almost feel Remus's warmth, the softness of his lips…Harry sighed and came all over the sheets, again, and on Remus which woke him up.

"Sorry," Harry apologized, but Remus's face was flushed and he looked happier than he had in a long time.

"Let's strip the bed and wash the sheets, shall we?" Remus suggested, and he got up and headed to his closet. He put on a robe and tossed one to Harry, it was much too big for him but it would do. "Are you sore?"

"A bit," Harry said, wincing as he realized he was indeed very sore. "Ow." His lover disappeared into the bathroom and came back with a small bottle of potion.

"Drink this, it'll help," said Remus, and he gave Harry the bottle as he began to remove the sheets. Harry unscrewed the lid and poured it into his mouth, and the sore feeling went away and there was a cooling feeling left over. "Better?"

"Much," Harry said, and he got out of bed and pressed his lips to Remus'.

"Later," Remus declared with a light chuckle, and while Remus pulled the sheets off the bed Harry wrapped his arms around Remus' neck and bit into it, causing Remus to gasp. Remus gathered the sheets in his arms and when he opened the door Ron stood in front of them, a smirk on his face.

"Morning Harry, Remus," Ron said casually.

"Ron just get to the point," said Harry, knowing Ron knew he slept with Remus last night.

"You weren't in our bedroom when I woke up," Ron said. "You're wearing Remus's robe." Ron was grinning mischievously.

"What are you trying to say?" Harry asked as he went in the laundry room with Remus, and Ron followed them in.

"That you slept with Remus," Ron concluded. Harry could tell Remus was trying very hard not to blush."

Harry grinned too as he suddenly got an idea. He was the son of a Maurader, and if Ron wanted information then he would get it. "Of course I slept with Remus," he sighed, and wrapped his arms around his startled lover and kissed him on the mouth. "And I loved every second of it," he finished against Remus's lips.

"What are you doing Harry?" Remus hissed into Harry's ear, and Harry shivered.

"Just telling a good friend how wonderful last night was," Harry said loudly, biting back a laugh at the look on Remus' face. "We'll have to do it again sometime Remus." He winked at his love and left the room, leaving two open-mouthed wizards standing in the laundry room.

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"I can't believe you did that." Hermione and Harry were eating lunch in the kitchen later and Harry had told her about earlier. Harry felt like he was growing apart from his friends after spending so much time with Remus, so he had told Hermione and she had agreed.

"Neither could Ron," Harry said, snickering as he remembered the priceless look on his friend's face.

"Ron probably won't even be able to look at Remus for weeks," Hermione predicted.

"That's what makes it hilarious," Harry declared.

"Remus probably doesn't think so," said Hermione, and they shared a laugh. "Have you seen him since

"Not really, he took off to Diagon Alley to get new reading material," Harry informed, and Hermione nodded.

"I am really happy for you Harry," said Hermione. "He looks happier, he really does. He loves you."

Harry smiled. "I love him so much Hermione. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"That's very sweet," he heard from behind him, and Harry turned around to see Remus and got up to kiss him.

"You'd think you hadn't seen him in a year," Ron complained, opening the door to the pantry and going in, it was a walk in pantry and it was huge. Harry's tongue slipped into Remus's mouth and Remus let out a quiet moan. "Get a room," they heard from the pantry, and Remus broke the kiss and the couple sat down across from Hermione.

"Find anything interesting?" Harry asked, and Remus nodded his head.

"A book about werewolves," said Remus, "I thought I might want to learn more about them. Me."

"Can I read with you?" Harry asked, leaning his head on his lover's shoulder.

"If you'd like," Remus said, and he gave Harry a small kiss.

"Aw damn it!" they heard the twins say in unison from the living room. "Damn it damn it damn it!"

The four got up and piled into the living room. "What happened?" Harry questioned as he plopped down next to Sirius, Remus on the other side of Harry's godfather.

"I beat them at chess," Sirius said proudly, smirking.

"No one's ever beat us at chess," George pouted.

"Not even Ron," Fred added.

"Have you tried, Harry?" Ron asked, sitting between Hermione and Harry on the couch.

Harry tried to remember a time when he played chess with Sirius. "I don't think so."

"Brilliant," Ron said. He turned to Fred and George. "Sirius will never beat Harry."

"Oh great," Harry said grumpily, and Sirius's smirk was wiped clear off his face.

"Harry against Sirius then," Fred challenged.

"Up for it Harry?" George asked.

"Fine," Harry groaned. "It doesn't matter to me whether I beat Sirius."

"We'll have the match on Christmas," Ron said, "and speaking of which, tomorrow's Christmas Eve."

"I can beat Sirius though," Harry predicted, and he grinned when Sirius's jaw dropped. This would be quite an interesting Christmas, he thought.


	9. Chapter 9

Later that night Harry was just dozing off in Remus' bed when said werewolf came in and light from the hall shined in the room, making Harry blink. "Tired?" Remus asked, getting in bed beside Harry.

"Kind of," Harry admitted, yawning, and he sat up to cuddle the man.

Remus smiled and wrapped an arm around Harry. "I was going to start reading the book I got about werewolves," he said quietly, running a hand through Harry's hair. "Do you still want to join me?"

"Sure," Harry agreed, and Remus kissed his hair before reaching for the book on his nightstand. They searched through the table of contents, finally agreeing on a chapter called "Being a Mate to a Werewolf."

The first thing you should know about being a mate is that werewolves mate for life. A werewolf does not choose their mate, their mate is the one that they fall in love with first. The werewolf's feelings for that person are strong. If their mate dies the werewolf will not be able to take the grief, it will try to kill itself.

"Remus," Harry whispered, looking up at his lover. "You fell in love with me before you found out that I'm your mate?"

Remus only smiled and Harry hugged him tightly, and he felt strong arms wrap around him, pulling him close. "I've loved you for a long time Harry," Remus murmured, his cheek resting against Harry's hair. Harry rolled over onto his back, laying between Remus' legs and his back resting against the older man's torso.

The werewolf will sometimes try to commit suicide if their mate does not reciprocate their feelings, or they assume their mate doesn't-

"I tried to kill myself," Remus mumbled.

"No," Harry whispered, reaching for Remus' hand. "Please tell me you didn't."

"It was the night you overheard my conversation with Sirius," Remus said as Harry stared at him in horror. "I was going to jump over the balcony. I had just gotten back from the meeting with Dumbledore at Hogwarts when he told me you were my mate. I had had enough, I'd convinced myself that if I tried really hard I could get over you and then he told me. I couldn't take it. I was just gripping the railing about to throw myself over when Sirius saw what I was doing and stopped me. Had he showed up a second later I'd probably be dead."

Harry was lost for words so instead he cradled Remus' face in his hands and kissed him. "How could you ever think that I don't love you?" Harry whispered. "You are the love of my life Remus Lupin." A few tears spilled out of Remus's eyes and Harry wiped them away and pressed their lips together again in a sweet kiss. Harry smiled as he thought of the Christmas present he was working on for Remus, a Pensieve that was filled with the memories he had of them.

"I'm thinking about taking a shower," Remus said when they finally broke apart. "Care to join me?"

Harry grinned and nodded, and he followed Remus into the bathroom. They undressed each other quickly and when they got in Harry pressed Remus against the wall, which was freezing since it was tile, and Remus yelped and Harry smiled as he connected their lips. Remus grabbed Harry's shoulders and flipped him over so that Harry's back was against the wall, and Harry wasn't cold because Remus's body was so warm and Remus was all but strangling him, and the hot water from the shower faucet was making him warm too. He and Remus had never kissed like this, their kisses were usually soft and sweet but teeth were involved in this one and they were basically tearing at each other's mouths hungrily. Harry slid his lips across Remus' skin down to the man's neck and he began kissing his neck, biting into the bare skin. Remus' growl bounced off the walls in the bathroom, making it seem louder than it most likely originally was, and Remus pulled Harry's body against his and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist.

"I love you Remus," Harry gasped against Remus' lips. "I love you-" He was silenced with another kiss as Remus' tongue joined Harry's in his mouth. Their tongues twisted together and Harry allowed himself to moan the world's loudest moan, and just by doing that Remus came all over Harry. Remus decided that this would be the perfect time to push inside Harry, and he came again deep inside his lover. Harry barely noticed the water shutting off and the towel wrapping around them, or when they stumbled into their room and toppled onto the bed, Remus on top of him, kissing Harry so he could hardly breathe.

"More," Harry gasped, wrapping his arms around Remus's neck and scooting up towards the headboard so that his back was against it, and Remus followed him and pressed him against the headboard, their kiss never breaking. "More Remus, that feels so good-" He could not stop kissing Remus even if the older man would let him, it was the best feeling ever and he couldn't describe the feeling. Harry clung to him, water from the shower dripping all over the bed but he didn't care, they could wash the sheets again tomorrow…

It was hours before Remus finally released Harry, both of them breathless, and Harry dropped onto the pillows with a sigh. He crawled into Remus' lap and wrapped his arms around him, his head resting on the man's shoulder.

"You drive me crazy, you know that?" Harry panted, and Remus chuckled weakly and hugged Harry back. "Absolutely crazy." When their breathing slowed down Harry said, "I don't suppose there will be any more reading tonight?"

"Only if you'd like to," Remus murmured, running his hands through Harry's wet hair a few times.

"I don't. Let's just go to sleep."

"Okay," Remus agreed, and that was just what they did.


	10. Chapter 10

Christmas Eve morning came quickly, and when Harry woke up he couldn't believe it was almost Christmas. He wrapped his arms around Remus' naked body and sighed happily as he tucked his head under the werewolf's chin.

"How did you sleep?" he heard his lover murmur and Remus began to rub his back, gently nipping at Harry's ear.

"Good," Harry answered, and Remus lifted Harry's chin with a finger to kiss him. Their lips met softly and Harry gasped into Remus' mouth, he loved when Remus kissed him like this rather than kissing him like his life depended on it. Harry's heart swelled with love and he deepened the kiss even more, holding Remus' face in his hands and twisting their tongues together. Harry put his hands on either side of Remus' waist and massaged his tongue against his lover's.

"Oh…need this Harry…" Remus sighed, and Harry crawled between Remus' legs and brushed their lips together, and when they were finally out of breath they snuggled under the blankets, panting heavily. Harry licked his lips, he could still taste the deliciousness of the kiss, and he rolled off of Remus onto the bed so he could stretch.

"Hey," Remus said suddenly, "it's Christmas Eve."

"Oh yeah," Harry remembered. "Let's get up. I think I can smell bacon." He loved Mrs. Weasley's bacon, during his stay at the Burrow it was the only thing that would get him out of bed, if Ron didn't simply drag him out of bed. Harry was not a morning person, that was something he should probably work on. He pecked Remus' lips before getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom. They met ten minutes later in the kitchen and shared a passionate kiss in the doorway.

"Do you bloody lovebirds have to do that right here, while I'm eating?" Ron said, and Harry only laughed and turned back to Remus. They were just about to kiss again when Harry saw Ginny out of the corner of his eye.

"Harry, do you mind if I talk to you?" said Ginny. "It's kind of important. It can wait if it-"

"No it's fine," Harry said quickly, and he followed Ginny out on the porch.

"I'm sorry," she said after a minute's silence. "I think I overreacted. I was just shocked, this is something entirely new to me. I support you and Remus, I just really needed time to think. You're like a brother to me Harry."

Harry smiled and Ginny hugged him, and he hugged her back. Ginny and Hermione were like the sisters he never had, and if he ever needed advice he would turn to one of them. Both of them were his family as much as everyone else was.

They went back inside then and ate breakfast, and afterwards they played chess, it was Remus and Sirius vs. Ron and Harry. Harry and Ron managed to win, only because chess was kind of new to Remus, even though he was getting better.

After playing a few games it was finally Harry vs. Sirius, and the kitchen was silent. Sirius sat down across from Harry, and Remus sat beside Harry and wrapped a reassuring arm around him. "You can do this Harry," Remus said, and Harry leaned into him.

"I highly doubt it," Sirius said with a smirk on his face, sapphire eyes filled with laughter.

"Harry is capable of beating you, mutt," Remus answered.

Fred and George, who after losing to Sirius had taken his side, said, "I highly doubt that."

"Oh thanks," said Harry, nerves finally hitting him.

"It'll be fine Harry," Ginny said, sitting down on the other side of him. Hermione sat down beside her, and that was when Sirius realized he was outnumbered, even by girls who couldn't really play chess, they weren't playing but still on Harry's side.

Sirius gulped. "Let the games begin," he whispered, and he made the first move. "Queen to A6."

"Queen to C4," Harry ordered, and the queen smashed Sirius's knight.

"Damn it!" Sirius cursed, and Mrs. Weasley turned her attention from the stove to Sirius. "Sorry."

Harry smirked, white teeth flashing, and now Sirius looked really scared. "K-Knight to B2," Sirius stammered, and his knight moved across the board.

In the end Sirius lost, and everyone cheered and hugged Harry and Remus and Harry shared a long kiss during Ron's complaint of "Bloody lovebirds need to get a room." They laughed then and headed into the living room, and after a while Remus and Harry went upstairs after saying goodnight to everyone.

"This is so perfect Remus," Harry sighed as he sat down on the bed and crawled into Remus' lap. "Everything is perfect."

Remus smiled. "I love you Harry. I love you and I don't know why you would ever love an old werewolf-"

Harry's heart swelled and he kissed Remus softly, not able to stand his love talking badly about himself. Remus' lips trembled against his and he leaned into Harry's touch as Harry's hands cradled Remus' face. "I love you more than anything in this world Remus Lupin, and if you say anything else bad about yourself I just may have to hex you," said Harry after breaking the kiss

Remus chuckled weakly and wrapped his arms around Harry in a tight hug. "No one has ever said that to me," he whispered, kissing Harry's hair. "Thank you." Harry nodded and they lay like that in silence for a long time and eventually they fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

Christmas morning Harry woke to Remus gently rubbing his back, which made him want to fall back asleep. "Time to get up love," Remus whispered in his ear, "before your friend Ron breaks the door down and sees we're not dressed."

Harry shivered and he buried his face in Remus' neck. "Happy Christmas Remus."

"Happy Christmas Harry," said Remus, holding his lover tightly in his arms. Harry pulled back to kiss him and bit Remus' lip to keep from moaning, which made Remus moan.

"I know you two are making out in there," Ron called, knocking on the door. "Time for one of you two to learn how to effectively use Silencing Charms."

"He's really standing out there?" Harry broke the kiss and stared at the door in awe, his face a brilliant red.

"He's really standing out there," Remus murmured, nipping at Harry's ear.

"Merlin, I wish we could stay in bed forever," Harry groaned, his eyes closed as Remus kissed his neck. "That would really be the best Christmas present."

"Well it's not going to happen mate so get up, get dressed, and get downstairs before I do break your door," threatened Ron.

Harry sighed. "We really have to get up don't we?" he asked Remus.

"It seems so, I'm afraid," Remus replied. "We'll finish this later." They got out of bed and searched around the room for their clothes which Harry and Remus had distributed around the room as far apart as possible. When they were dressed they headed downstairs to see stacks of presents by the tree.

"Where's Sirius…and Fred and George and Ginny?" Ron asked, noticing quite a few absences.

"Presents everyone!" Mrs. Weasley called, and Sirius and Ginny and the twins came in from the kitchen. They began opening presents then, Sirius had given Harry a case for his broomstick and a book on how to take care of it, which Harry had been grateful for. Hermione had given him two books, a book of every single spell known to the wizarding world and a book about Occlumency. Part of Remus' present was Occlumency lessons, something Harry really needed, Remus and Hermione had collaborated on Harry's present since they both thought Occlumency was something Harry should know, his lessons with Snape had been a failure. Harry was going to wait until that night to give Remus his Pensieve, it was sort of a private thing since it was filled with memories of just him and Remus. He did get Remus a Gryffindor scarf and the gold in it seemed to match Remus' eyes, it looked perfect on him. Harry also got a matching bedspread which Remus quite liked, they were definitely in need of new sheets anyway since they were quickly destroying Remus' other pair.

They spent the afternoon playing chess and Quidditch, Remus and Hermione both got on a broom and didn't like it too much but they were okay at Quidditch. Harry's team won and then they went inside for dinner, which consisted of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, salad, corn, potatoes, and cranberries, Mrs. Weasley had spent the afternoon cooking while everyone else was outside.

When everyone had gone to bed Harry and Remus went up to their room. "I have something else for you," Remus said, and that took Harry by surprise. They both had something else for each other, it just proved how alike they were. Remus handed Harry a blue velvet box and Harry opened it to see a beautiful pendant with a circle of diamonds and a ruby, Harry's birthstone, hanging in the middle.

"It's absolutely stunning Remus," Harry breathed as he gently removed it from the box and held it up to get a closer look at it. "It's…I don't even know what to say. Thank you." He put it back in the box and set it on the bed, then hugged Remus tightly. "I love you."

"I love you very much Harry," said Remus, kissing Harry's hair.

"I have something for you too," Harry said, and Remus' eyes widened in surprise. He left the room for a moment and went into his room, where under his twin bed he kept the test tube rack with the small vials of memories for the small fountain, which was in the back of his closet. Harry and Ron had separate closets so it was pretty easy to hide.

Remus looked confused. "Are those potions?" he asked, perplexed, staring at the rack.

"Memories," Harry answered, and Remus' eyes grew huge. "I'll go get the fountain, it's in my room-" Remus took the rack out of his hands, gently put it down on the nightstand, and cradled Harry's face in his hands and kissed him softly. Harry's eyes fluttered shut and he kissed Remus back, hard, and Remus inhaled deeply and pulled Harry against him, crushing their lips together.

"How long that must have taken you to make…" Remus trailed off after finally pulling back. Harry licked his lips, he could still taste the deliciousness of the kiss. "Harry, I…thank you…that's too generous…"

"I love you," Harry said simply. "I wanted to make it for you."

Remus smiled and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, crushing their lips together again. Harry gasped loudly and melted into the kiss, sucking hungrily on Remus' tongue.

"Are you at least gonna close the door?"

Harry blushed a deep red and turned in Remus' arms to see Ron watching them with a perplexed expression. "Er…Happy Christmas?" offered Harry with a nervous laugh.

"Seems as though it is, mate," Ron answered. He went down the hall and Harry heard a door close seconds later. He closed the door and locked it.

"Shall we go to bed?" Remus suggested, a very seductive smile on his face.

"We shall," Harry agreed, and with that the two began to undress each other.


End file.
